My mom just told me, and I quote, "You screwed up our entire financial problem by moving in with your dad. All you do is take. YOu come over here, and take. YOU NEVER GIVE."

All of this because I said I didn't feel comfortable asking Ryan if he'd take my little sister to the store so she could get food. The relevance, I'm not sure. For the first time in... well, forever I don't care.

















I'm a liar.

I don't know why it frustrates me so much, but my cats have fleas. It really is an irrational anger I have, I guess. I spent an hour today trying to hand-pick the fleas off, but not-so-quickly realized that my efforts were useless. My mom doesn't have the money (I don't think) to buy flea shampoo or anything like that, so I'm going to gather up all of my remaining money and buy it myself. Fleas can kill kittens. I had no clue until I read it online. They can cause kittens to become anemic and die.

Yeah. I'm getting that shampoo.



Hmmm.

Camping was a complete success. Last night was full of memorable moments> Let me tell you, sitting underneath the stars in the country while listening to the Postal Service via stereo is one of the best feelings in the world.

It's all over, I guess.

Dad won custody. Mom didn't show up to court at all.

Despite the fact that she promised she'd fight for me, she didn't.

She didn't even show up.

If it wasn't for this numb feeling, I think I may be upset right now.

Something tells me this sin't the end of everything though.

Technically speaking, my parents are going to court today. The thought of it scares the living shit out of me, but I'm trying to be a stronger person. I want to take the punches as they come. And this is a very big swing that life is throwing my way. I don't want to have to see, hear, or speak to either of my parents after tomorrow, because I know that at least one of them is going to end up not wanting to have much to do with me or the other parents. It's so difficult to deal with two people who hate each otherm let alone the two people who brought me into this world. I'd give anything to be able to confidently choose between the two of them, but it just isn't possible.

I don't like this one bit...

Court between parents on Friday.

I'm not going. I like tot hink that there's no need for me to be there, even though the whole point of it is to decide where I will be living for the next year.

I've made a few decisions for the next few days (most of them are irrelevant, but who's to care?)

1. I'm saving up for a Sidekick 3. I'm becoming more materialistic and as much as it kind of scares me, I don't have the heart or motivation to try to stop it.

2. I want to go camping this weekend. (Which contradicts my last decision) I don't want to be in town or earshot of either of my parents for a while after Friday. If things go my dads way, my mom will be crushed which will, in turn, crush me. Then, if things go my moms way, my dad will be pissed and I'll have to hear about it for the next few weeks. We'll see.

3. I need to lay off my friends. I figured if I give them space of their own, i will be more comfortable with them. One of my biggest fears is the idea of my friends deciding they don't want me anymore. By giving them their own space, I may be avoiding that.

4. I really need to start working out. I would like to go back to school next year with a confidence I've never had before.

5. I need more money. To pay of debts and have something to look foward to in the future.

Needless to say, I've been thinking a lot. You decide whether or not that's a good thing.

My summer so far has been all about these children:


+Kyle
+Damek
+Shanni
[The Crew]

and

+shibby
+brie
+jesus



We are moving today and tomorrow :]]

yumbored

So here's how it goes.

Summer Theater audishes are coming up.
I'm hella nerviosa.

We have to move out of my house in about....3 weeks.

And we don't know where the hell we are going.
Which is slightly scary, ya dig?

I don't know.
i'm sure it will work itself out.

I made SaraMae the Shore a painting.

I don't like it. :/

I hope she will.

[And then Shannon proclaimed, "SHANNON DOES!"]

I write stories.......Not tragedies. Gigglegiggle.PANIC!

"I come from the land of the corn fields and insurance. We like to call it Bloom't'n, Ill'nah"

ohgoodnessyoz

I talked to rachel yesterday for the first time all week.

Things are gradually getting back to normal.

Thank god.

I am still sick of her side-kick though.

yumyumyum Circus Tomorrow♥

Damek asked me to go to his prom on may 13th.






hah :]

I can't trust even the people who are closest to me now.




great.

Okay.
So I'm sitting here in my little "Introduction to Business" class.
I know I should be working.
But, to be honest, I just dont want to.
I'm having a substantially good day.
School doesn't even seem real anymore, since it's almost over.
It feels as if we are just... being here to be here.
To say we completed the one-hundred-and-eighty-something days required to pass.
Oh well, I guess it's actually better than real school.

Whatever

I think I might go to the circus this weekend.
Which, in fact, would be beyond amazing.
I love the circus.
Yesss.
ANDAND I am going with Merideth,
the coolest 8th grader ever.
So.
I am one excited gal.

I promise to God to try to actually update this....
erhm...


yeah things are cool.
I have no more drama stuff
For [most likely] the rest of the year.
I was nominated for a Bloomie :D
Best newcomer what-what.

Yeaaah.

Agh. this is dumb now.
Ballllls

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